This is the time of year when a lot of us take stock of the previous year and decide what we want to do to improve things the following year. This post will walk you through the process of thinking back on 2024 and determining how you can make your relationships better in 2025.
As you may already be aware, partnerships tend to break down more frequently in the weeks after Christmas vacation. This must be partly because couples are under pressure to spend a lot of time together even if their relationship isn’t working well. However, such need not be the case. By thinking back on the past year, you have the opportunity to make some adjustments that will not only help you prevent a breakup but also help you develop something much better in the coming year.
Considering the state of your relationships in 2024
What can you say about the status of your main relationships over the past 12 months? I’m talking about your significant other, your kids, and other people you care about. We frequently discover more about ourselves than we anticipated when we delve deeply into our experiences with others and ourselves. And we can make something new for the upcoming year with this information.
You have the power to improve, beautify, and complete your relationship beyond what it is currently.
- As you respond to these questions, what thoughts cross your mind?
- What difficulties did your intimate relationships present?
- What was unique or unexpected that occurred?
- What was simple for you?
- For what do you feel thankful?
- What recurring trends do you observe throughout the year?
- What is the most significant relationship lesson you took away from this year?
- What would you do differently if you could go back in time and change the year?
Write on these questions in your journal for a while. You might write a paragraph or more for some of them, while others might just produce a few words. There are no correct or incorrect responses. The only thing you need to know is that you need to be honest with yourself.
Instead of placing blame on others, being honest means accepting responsibility for the aspects of yourself that you know can be improved. It also entails refraining from hurling blame at oneself.
Reflection is followed by action
It’s time to consider what you want to do differently the following year once you’ve taken stock of your relationships and your position in them. You began this earlier with question 7. I want you to now focus on the specifics of the situation. What were the most difficult things for you? What was difficult for you?
For example:
- Do you have trouble paying close attention to what other people are saying?
- Perhaps you have observed that you must always assert that your viewpoint is correct.
- Or do you have a tendency to express every feeling without holding anything in?
If you want better relationships in the next year, it’s important to break these habits. Since you will be spending a week or two with your family, there will probably be plenty of opportunities for you to practice some new skills.
I’m going to show you three strategies that will greatly enhance your interactions with your partner, parents, children, and everyone else!
1. Hearing
When we listen, the majority of us are planning our next words. Occasionally, we do this because we want to relate an experience that is comparable to what the other person is discussing. We occasionally consider how we may enhance what they are saying. We occasionally consider our retort since we “know” that we are correct and they are incorrect. Sometimes it’s because we’re preoccupied with something else, like “who did I lend that screwdriver to?” or “what should I make for dinner?”
All of these are not listening. You’re not truly listening if your mind is elsewhere, even if you agree with what the other person is saying. Listening entails paying attention to the speaker’s body language, gestures, and emotion in addition to what they are saying. All of that is too much to process when you’re distracted by something else.
Therefore, the next time someone speaks to you, decide to stop your inner monologue and give them your whole attention. After that, you can ask questions if there is anything you don’t understand or if there is a point you’re unclear on. Telling them what you believe they said and asking whether you’re correct is a way to check in at the end if you want to go all the way.
2. Recognize that you could be wrong
The phrase “consider that you might be wrong” is nicely expressed in this fashion. One of the most common relationship mistakes is the need to always be correct. Naturally, you’ll think you’re correct if you think something is true. Additionally, you’re likely to believe your partner or child is incorrect if they disagree with you.
Sadly, the relationship weakens when both people maintain that they are correct and the other is incorrect. Regardless of how certain you are of your own opinion, being relational means not claiming to be correct. You can gain brownie points by being the one to concede.
This dilemma can be approached in two ways:
Tell them that you’re open to changing your mind because you might be wrong.
You are content to agree to disagree because you understand that you have two distinct realities and that there is no way to show that any of them is true.
The key to this is realizing that the relationship is more significant than persuading others to believe you are telling the truth.
3. Keep your feelings in check
When everyone is crammed together for the Christmas holidays, emotions can run high. especially when it’s raining and freezing outside. As you may already be aware, relationship dissolutions tend to peak seven days into the new year. The conventional wisdom is that after spending a week or more together, the couple continued to have disagreements and realized that nothing had improved when they returned to their jobs in the new year. Their relationship must therefore be unsalvageable.
Couples break up for many different reasons. But what we refer to as “unbridled self-expression” is at the top. That only entails speaking your mind without taking your partner’s feelings into account. The most common outcomes are separation and conflict.
It’s possible that some of us vent our rage uncontrollably, shouting names, making allegations, and degrading our spouses. Others use it as a way to communicate their pain and suffering in the hopes that their significant other will step in to comfort and shield them. Unfortunately, if your partner finds it difficult to handle the strong emotions you are showing, this could cause them to retreat.
In any case, if you express yourself freely, it’s a sign that you can’t control your own feelings and that you don’t care about your spouse.
Although it could be the most difficult thing to learn, it is not impossible! These pointers will help you if you’re a novice:
When you sense the want to yell or scream, check yourself using the ABC method: A) Become cognizant of what you were going to say or do, B) take a breath to stop yourself, and C) deliberately decide to say or do something different (more tactful).
Practice grounding yourself by concentrating on your breathing, your feet on the ground, and your current senses of sight and sound. You can use this technique to center yourself when your emotions are running high if you do it once or twice a day.
Try some self-compassion. Some basic techniques for self-compassion include:
Frequent self-care involves setting aside time to feed oneself.
A basic mindfulness exercise, such a body scan or breath awareness
Meditation with compassion, like Loving Kindness Meditation
When you are triggered, self-soothe by telling yourself that everything is fine.
Journaling about gratitude
All of your relationships will improve as you become more adept at controlling and restraining your emotions. When you are more at ease, it has a cascading impact on other people, assisting them in self-control.
Thus, in 2025, you all set yourselves up for more contented and affectionate partnerships!
All of your relationships might develop and grow in 2025. Schedule a free conversation with us to get some advice and assistance with that.